Life Cycles Part II: New Beginnings - Birth and Child Rearing in the Amish Community
By GRACE MILLER
As the first rays of summer sun break through the mist, the Raber household is already stirring. Andy is finishing an early breakfast; he is anxious to get out to his woodshop and start staining and varnishing the cabinet he assembled yesterday. Marie has roused the boys, but she is hoping that the baby will sleep a little longer, giving her an opportunity to wash up after breakfast and maybe even get a pot of soup simmering on the stove for noon dinner.
But before Andy and Marie start their day's work, they pause to spend time with sleepy-eyed David and Roy at the table in the kitchen. Andy reads today's Scripture passage from the Bible, and the family bow their heads to thank God for the blessings of life and health. Six-year-old David prays for a cousin who has measles, and even four-year-old Roy haltingly whispers a prayer of thanks for six new kittens in the barn. Andy and Marie cannot help smiling at each other over the little blond heads. David, named for Marie's young brother who was killed 12 years before when a car struck the family buggy, is a willing helper in his father's shop. Roy, the namesake of Andy's father, is more inclined to play with his numerous pets. A stern but gentle reminder from his mother is usually enough to keep him at his task of helping to carry dishes from the table to the sink. He looks forward to the day when his one-and-a-half-year-old sister will take over this "girl's work,' freeing him for more manly labor in the barn or the woodshop.
Andy and Marie are looking forward to the birth this fall of the newest member of the family. In fact, Marie has planned a trip today to Spector's store in Mount Eaton to buy more of the soft white cotton fabric she is making up into nightgowns the baby will wear for at least the first few months.
The young parents have been considering what name they will give this child. After following custom in naming their first two children for relatives, they departed from tradition by calling their daughter the more modern "Lori.' Furthermore, they drew the disapproval of some of the older church members by giving her a middle name: Ann. Marie's grandfather considered the name too "fancy,' but many young couples in Marie and Andy's circle of friends have grown tired of the limits imposed by using the same names over and over again " not to mention the difficulties caused by the need to sort out six John Millers and four Lizzie Yoders residing in the same community.
As Marie changes her daughter's diaper and settles her in a high chair to eat, she reminds the boys of their morning chores. David will weed the green beans in the garden and sweep the front porch. Roy refills feed and water dishes for the dogs, cats, and pet rabbit, and shakes out throw rugs. The boys also help their mother by entertaining their little sister in the living room for a while, but when Lori goes down for her morning nap, they are free to go outside. Whooping and shouting, they run for the rope swing that hangs from the huge old maple tree shading the back yard.
After the noon meal, the boys help again in the kitchen, wiping the table and sweeping the floor. In the meantime, Andy has hitched the horse to the family buggy. Marie mounts the front seat with Lori on her lap and gathers the reins, while Roy climbs into the back. David will stay at home and help his father by collecting wood scraps and sweeping up shavings in the shop. David loves the wood shop, and is already clamoring to be allowed to use his father's tools. Andy is pleased that his son wants to follow in his footsteps, but believes that little boys should also get plenty of opportunity to play.
It takes more than a half-hour to cover the four miles to town, with the horse pulling hard up the hills. The rhythm of the steel wheels puts Lori to sleep, but Roy enjoys dangling his feet out the open back of the buggy and observing the passengers in cars behind. Sometimes the people in the cars wave to him, but Roy usually ducks his head behind the side curtain and waits for them to pass. Once when he and David were playfully scuffling in the back seat and got too energetic, Roy's straw hat was knocked off and run over by a truck. Roy was scolded for his carelessness and had to do extra chores to help pay for a new hat. Now he is careful to sit more quietly.
At Spector's, Marie examines the sale table, hoping to find a length of navy blue fabric for some new winter pants for David. He is growing so fast that last year's Sunday trousers hardly show any wear. They will be handed down to Roy and Marie will make a new pair for David. Roy gazes longingly at the toys displayed near the front counter, but he would never dream of leaving his mother's side to go across the store by himself. An "English' child in the next aisle has no such restraint; she is howling with complete abandon and struggling to free herself from her mother's grasp. Roy stares at her with round eyes. Although he is only four, Marie has already trained him well to conduct himself quietly in public. He would be ashamed to make such a scene and draw attention to himself.
Her purchases made, Marie clucks to the horse and starts him in the direction of home. Along the way, she stops at the home of her in-laws to visit for a short time. Roy has an opportunity to play with several cousins who either live in the big house or are also visiting from down the road. Marie wants to make arrangements with Andy's parents to send his youngest sister to stay with them for six weeks or so after the baby is born. At 17, Katie is a competent housekeeper. She is fully capable of doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry, keeping the household going while Marie recovers her strength. Roy can't wait for Katie's arrival; although she is careful to maintain her sister-in-law's discipline, Katie can also throw a ball as well as any boy and is great fun in a game of Hide and Seek or Rabbit.
The summer has passed all too swiftly. With the help of her mother and sisters, Marie has harvested the garden and the basement shelves are lined with row after row of gleaming glass jars filled with beans, corn, beets, tomatoes, peaches and applesauce. As the chilly winds blow and leaves drop from the trees, the time arrives for Marie and Andy's baby to be born. Andy rides over to his parents' house and collects Katie, who has been keeping a bag packed for the last week. Marie gives final instructions to her sister-in-law, then her husband helps her into the buggy for the ride to Mount Eaton.
Since her first delivery, which took place in a hospital, was completely normal and relatively easy, Marie's subsequent confinements have been at the Mount Eaton Care Center. Marie likes the homey atmosphere of the Care Center, and the nurses and aides who supervise her labor are friendly and well trained. Marie knows that if there is any hint of trouble, her doctor will be called in immediately and the hospital is only a short ambulance ride away. Marie's sister recently gave birth here with the help of a nurse-midwife, but Marie and Andy have decided to stick with the doctor who cared for her when David, Roy and Lori were born. This same family doctor has given the children their immunizations and regular check-ups, and Marie feels that he is almost a part of their family. In fact, he delivered both Andy and Marie almost 30 years ago, although at that time Amish children were almost exclusively born at home. There are still a few of Marie's acquaintances who give birth at home, but most Amish babies come into the world at the local hospital or, if the family lives close enough, the Mount Eaton Care Center.
By early evening, Marie is holding her baby in her arms. The neighborhood correspondent for The Budget (a newspaper widely circulated among the Amish community) will be able to report that'a new little dishwasher' has joined the family. Andy enters her name on the birth certificate: Katie Lynn. They have decided to honor Andy's sister with the baby's name, but again have given it a more modern twist by adding a middle name. little Katie will not be christened or baptized, in keeping with the Amish belief that baptism should only take place upon an adult decision to join the church. But the entire extended family will be there to guide and direct this little one in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, as the Scripture puts it.
And with dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins, as well as two sets of grandparents close by, little Katie Lynn will never lack for love.
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